CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
I loved kids and considered applying to the Children's Hospital where Melissa got her job back after returning from Missouri, but I couldn't bring myself to see sick children every day and treat them. Kids didn’t belong in hospitals. They were supposed to be outside throwing balls and enjoying their childhood, carefree. I have a lot of respect for people who care for sick kids, but I knew I would become too emotionally involved, so I applied at another local hospital instead.
My interviewer was a friendly nurse manager from the Philippines named Rae who had many years of experience in the field. He said he had reviewed my resume, asked me a few questions, and told me that I had the job. I asked him later what convinced him I was the right person, and he told me that one thing in particular I had said had really touched him.
He recalled, “You told me that wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” This famous quote by the philosopher Seneca strongly aligned with my outlook. I especially liked to surprise people by making small, kind gestures that they wouldn’t expect from a stranger. Of course, like everyone, I had my faults. My emotions were very visible and I had trouble dealing with rudeness, insincerity, and work politics. So it took me many years to learn how to deal with work gossip, jealous people, master manipulators, and narrow-minded and fake people. If you are a genuine person, you will always have people attack you, sometimes behind your back, in some of the sneakiest ways. And large groups of people with tight networks are always hard to fight against.
Especially after my years of bedside nursing experience, I had a good idea what life could throw at all of us and I did my best not to make anyone’s life harder than it already was. On the contrary, I strove to make people’s lives easier. I thought it was always a good idea to restore people’s faith in humanity. Of course, some people can make this practice very difficult. But I know all too well that a good deed might be the difference between somebody thinking seriously about taking their own life or hurting others and that person living another day, giving themself time to see things more clearly, and maybe changing their mind.
I started working at the hospital in the summer of 2008. The first year or so was extremely challenging. I was working on the Medical and Surgical Unit, which was made up of mainly stable patients who did not require cardiac monitoring, but it was still a lot to handle on a daily basis. The med/surg floor consists of patients who might have diabetes, kidney failure, cancer, liver failure, hypertension, respiratory problems, gastrointestinal problems, and many other medical issues. The patients I cared for typically required wound care, post-surgery recovery time, treatment for trauma or infection, pain management, diabetes care, hydration, and psychiatric evaluation and treatment.
In order to succeed at my job, I needed to sharpen my time management skills, learn to prioritize, develop the ability to recognize critical situations and unstable patients, and work together with the rest of the team. I always took pride in the standards I had set for myself in my past jobs, but working with patients made me even more careful not to make any mistakes. I wanted to be extremely safe. Unfortunately, there was a balance to be struck, and my extreme caution and detail-oriented nature meant that my time management skills weren’t great.
Although I hadn't made any mistakes, I was stressed out most of the time, and after about a year or so, three assistant managers sat down with me in the office to encourage me to quit. Feeling unwanted, I typed my resignation letter, giving two weeks’ notice, and took it to Rae, who was our unit manager at the time.
He refused to accept it. “I went through the same thing myself,” he reassured me. “Give it another month.” He took his time explaining the challenges he had faced himself and how, as time passed and he gained more experience, he overcame those challenges as a nurse.
After my talk with Rae, I felt reassured, and before long, things started to get much better. My morale improved and confidence grew. External factors helped, too; the hospital made the switch from paper charting to computer charting, which made things much easier. So I look back at that moment many years ago and feel that I owe my many years of employment at one of the leading hospitals in the country, where my children have benefited from its care, to Rae. Thank you, Rae. It’s amazing how much of a difference a few encouraging and supportive words can make. To this day I am proud to have such a rewarding career, where each day I hope to make a difference in people’s lives. With its challenges and rewards, working as a nurse has contributed greatly to my personal growth throughout the years and to who I am today.
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