CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
For the most part I was doing okay in Sonora. I had made some friends, I enjoyed my work, and there was plenty to do in my off hours, but when I looked at the situation honestly, things were tough. Most crucially, I had been living from paycheck to paycheck, never able to really save any money or plan for the future. But I wasn’t complaining, because I was in a much better place than I had been just a year or two earlier. I wasn’t hungry and I had a roof over my head.
I can’t say I was unhappy, but I still suffered from a degree of homesickness, and I missed my mom in particular. I ended up talking her into taking early retirement and moving in with me. This wasn’t the best decision for her — she was only months away from her normal retirement offered by the bank she worked at, and retiring early caused her to miss out on some important financial benefits. But she did it, because she loved me and couldn’t say no when I must have seemed so desperate and in need of her. So my extremely giving and caring mom flew from Izmir to California for the second time in 1996 for her only child.
After a couple of months had passed, she began to get really bored, because I worked during the day and sometimes at night as well. I also spent a lot of time hanging out with my friends, often leaving her at home all by herself. She didn't speak English and didn't know anyone in America, which made it even harder to meet people than it had been for me. I do remember Charles making some time to show her around town and Ralph having us over for Christmas. Sadly, it didn’t work out and eventually she went back home.
To this day, I feel very guilty for convincing her to throw her life up in the air and move all the way to the US to live with me, naïvely believing I was ready to financially support both of us.
This was just one of many mistakes I made as a young immigrant in this country. So often I attempted to make my American dream a reality, but as I look back, these attempts were all too early and mainly built upon my seemingly limitless imagination and credit cards.
During my early years in America, being naïve and new in a faraway country and not having parental guidance caused me to make many mistakes. As a matter of fact, not having this strong foundation made me prone to making more mistakes throughout my years in this country.
I received credit card offers in the mail and got my hands on more than I should have. My dream from the start was to create a home with nice décor that reflected my individuality, a game room with Ping-Pong and pool tables and a bar, interesting art and classic vinyl on the walls, and a backyard filled with trees, plants, and flowers. I would have a dog or two cats running around the yard, watch the birds, and live happily ever after. I envisioned not a fancy life but a comfortable one. My aim was not to be rich. I just wanted to be free.
I imagined a pleasant little house where I could simply sit on my couch with a drink and flip through the channels on the TV, cook some delicious recipes in the kitchen, host good friends and share laughter and drinks at the bar, light some candles, and perhaps grow an avocado tree and a lemon tree, some herbs and a few jasmine plants in the backyard.
Although I took some classes at Columbia College and was able to attain my certificate in Hospitality and Hotel Management with my broken English, I mostly rejected the idea that I needed to go to school in order to have financial stability, against all advice. I told myself I could work two or even three jobs instead to support myself and buy the things I dreamed of.
I made many unwise purchases, charging them all on my credit card accounts. I bought my second car, a 1987 GMC Jimmy 4x4, a mid-size SUV, from a used car dealership in Modesto. The vehicle, which I could only have dreamed about owning back home, made me so happy despite it having very high mileage; I felt sure I was getting closer to making all my dreams a reality. But because of the high interest rates I had to pay on these credit card accounts and on the car, I was actually moving farther away from achieving my dreams without realizing it.
In those days, I didn’t know what a credit score was or how important a role it could play in one’s life in America. I didn't even know what APR meant, and I never really read the small print on the bottom of these credit card offers and statements. My accounts were maxed out most of the time, and there came a day, despite working some extra shifts at Coyote Creek, when I could no longer make even the minimum payments anymore.
One of my friends, a guy named Mark, was knowledgeable and kind enough to sit down with me at Coyote Creek one day and explain what options were available to me. I ended up having to file bankruptcy over a debt of $10,000, which looking back was not worth ruining my credit over for the next seven years, when I should have been working on improving and protecting my financial status. I still had to continue making my car payments on my ’87 Jimmy, too. There was nothing to do but keep on working until I got back on my feet.
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